There used to be a saying that ‘good things come to those who wait’, but times have changed. The pace of change, the rise of social media, video, podcasting and creating your own platforms have meant our access to information and ability to get in front of the right people has exploded. There is now a level playing field.
That means it’s time to step up, stand out and put yourself out there. But the reality is that only around 1% of people actually create online profiles, write content, share their ideas and chase what they want. Only 1% of people really put themselves out there.
Putting Yourself Out There
Amanda is a client of mine. She had been delivering programs in her industry for some time but wasn’t getting much traction. When she finally wrote her book we sat down together to determine who the ideal client was, and how she could get in front of them. And her book was the key.
She sent it out to those people that she felt she aligned with and that she could really help, and it got into the hands of an Australian billionaire — who absolutely loved it. He gave her a call and after some initial meetings, asked her for a quote to roll out her program in his stores across Australia, New Zealand, Canada and Europe. What an incredible accomplishment for Amanda.
But it all comes back to putting yourself out there. Amanda didn’t let fear get in her way. She used the tools and assets she had and took some (sometimes scary) steps to make it happen.
The Mindset of Putting Yourself Out There — The Confidence Scale
When I first start working with clients, I typically find that they’re somewhere along a sliding confidence scale when it comes to putting themselves out there. This sliding scale goes from the lowest level, a level one, or ‘actively hiding’, all the way through to level five of, ‘putting yourself out there’.
Level One — Actively Hiding
At this base level, you are actively trying to camouflage yourself. Your focus is to blend in and not be noticed. This may be okay for a little while, but you can’t stay there forever.
When you’re in hiding, your courage is at the lowest it probably will ever be, and opportunities are not coming your way. To start moving out of this, you have to find your place and a sense of safety and trust first. You don’t have to push yourself, but you do have to ease back into your comfort zone.
Level Two — Passively Waiting
Passively waiting is the space where you aren’t using up too much energy or feeling too much stress. Here you aren’t actively putting yourself out there, but you are waiting for things to come along.
This is also OK for a short amount of time. But the problem is if you stay here then things aren’t going to happen, or if they do, it will be at a very slow, haphazard pace. If you want things to happen and change, then you have to level up.
Level Three — Hoping and Wishing
The next level is what I like to call hoping and wishing. In terms of putting yourself out there, this is where you’re actively doing some things. They’re still within your comfort zone, but you’re giving yourself a chance and believing that there’s a chance you’ll succeed.
It’s like buying a lotto ticket. You’re buying a ticket and you’re giving yourself a chance, but you’re not out there really trying that hard.
But as my good friend and mentor Keith Abraham says, “Hope is not a strategy”. And when you sit in this area you may think you’re putting yourself out there, but your actions don’t substantiate that thinking. So, it’s very unlikely that things will change while you’re here.
Level Four — Asking and Sharing
So, to really be able to start putting yourself out there, the next step is to shift from hoping and wishing to asking and sharing. Asking and sharing means taking the brave step to go out and ask for what you want. You don’t have to be doing it all the time, but you do need to have the courage to have a go.
Asking is not only asking what you want but also how can you help? It’s a shift from attention in to attention out. It’s also being generous and finding ways to share what it is that you can do or share what it is that you’ve got and how you can help people.
Once you’re doing this, you’re about 50% of the way to putting yourself out there.
Repeat and repeat again
Once you’ve asked and shared once, then the trick is to repeat the asking and sharing, and the attention out, and then repeat it again, until it becomes a habit or a part of your mindset.
When you repeat the asking and sharing, and the attention out, eventually it becomes cadence in your life. And suddenly you find that it’s not uncomfortable or difficult, but just becomes part of who you naturally are So, while at the moment you might feel like, ‘I just don’t have the ability to put myself out there’, I’m here to tell you that you do. Once you get that cadence you can practice the muscle of putting yourself out there and the courage to do that.
Putting yourself out there means finding ways of doing things that are uncomfortable and constantly exposing yourself to things you’ve never done before so that you become used to doing new things. Over time, it will start to feel so much more natural.
It’s time to Put Yourself Out There
Whether you want to work with dream clients, ask someone on a date, apply for that job, share your ideas or create a social following, you will need to find the courage to put yourself out there. But once you do, you’ll find that, just like Amanda, the opportunities will present themselves.
Love to hear your thoughts….
Originally published at https://janeandersonspeaks.com on June 9, 2021.